Some Things I've Learned

Photo by the wonderful Quentin de Briey. 

Cobbled together from my limited life experience, here are some things that I've found helpful to keep in mind. 

Treat people as well as possible. Including yourself. 

For me this has two specific applications. 

(1) Don't place other people's happiness above yours. Weigh them as equally as possible and act accordingly

(2) Be as forgiving of yourself as you are of others (and be as forgiving as possible in both regards) 

Stand up for yourself. 

Especially when you feel that someone's taking advantage of you. Never apologize for doing so. (As a bonus, I've often found that people are often more understanding than I've expected them to be!)

Prioritize long term goals. 
This is something my dad always told me in high school when I wanted to stay out with my friends after 11 pm. He'll still tell me this when I come home for the holidays and go out. And as eye-roll inducing this advice was when I was a teenager, it's some of the most important advice I've received. You only have so much time. Indulging in the short term can keep you from accomplishing the things that are truly important to you. 

Do things alone.

I often fall into the pattern of mentally dividing my life into personal and social: in my personal life, I read, watch movies. In my social life, I do activities. The more I blur the line between these two - going to concerts alone, vegging out with friends, the happier I am. But more importantly, don't wait for friends to tag along to do things you want to do. Go for it alone! 

Make the effort to hold onto meaningful friendships - long distance and short.

I've learned this over and over again. It's easy to let friendships fizzle out when you move apart or get older. But it doesn't take much effort to keep a friendship afloat and is always, always worth it. 

Always saying yes to your friends (or boyfriends) is saying no to yourself

Again. Value others. But don't over extend yourself saying yes. It's not worth going out if you're going to be grumpy about it the whole time.

Lifestyle is habit

You are what you do and can only live the life you want to by doing it. This being said, be realistic about how you want to live. In my head, I'd only watch New Wave movies. But let's be real. I think I'm a happier person for having watched every episode of 30 Rock. 

Document
It's easy to think you'l remember a moment when you're in it. Take a photo. Write something about it. I'm always happy (and extremely amused) to learn what I was thinking at other points in my life. 

And, some additional words (of wisdom) from the late, great Kurt Vonnegut that always come to me in times of need ...
So it goes.